Determination

Yesterday the hubbs asked me about a workout dvd I had purchased a while back. He didn't ask me for it for him, instead he asked about it indirectly to ask if I was still working out with it. He made me feel like crap primarily because in a way I know that was his way of telling me I'm lagging it in the weight loss. I'm not mad at him for hinting at this, but it did made me a bit sad. It mostly made me sad because I wish dearly that by now I would be smaller than I am right now.
However, I have began to get a hold of my bad eating habits. I have stopped drinking soda and even though each day is a challenge, so far I have stayed in the straight and arrow. I have not been eating out at all, but my eating habits at home can be better. I have to retrain myself to eat every 2-3 hours in small portions. I don't know why this is so hard for me, it's almost like something in my brain is telling me that we're going to run out of food or something and I need to eat more. Hopefully I can get rid of that bad habit fast because it is really deterring me from my goal.
I wish I could get back that willpower I had before I found out I was pregnant. I think back to that time and I remember how awesome I felt. I was eating extremely clean and would exercise daily. For the first time in my life I felt like I was in control. I was sticking to a healthy lifestyle and achieving weight loss the right way. It was teaching me discipline and hard work and I loved it. Some times it truly makes me feel sad that I can't get back to that mind set. Lately though I've been trying my hardest to get back on the wagon and when I do I will be unstoppable I promise you this.