Thursday, March 21, 2013

Insecure

Have you ever heard the expression "walking a tight rope". That's how I feel right now, the Hubbs is growing increasingly irritated with his job and it is making my anxiety kick into high gear. I feel as though he is going to quit at any time and we're going to be in a free fall with our finances. He says he is not going to do that to us, but it has happened in the past and I can't help but feel apprehensive.
We had a conversation about a week ago and when I asked him what it is he wanted to do with his life he said he had no idea. I kept calm and collected on the outside, but inside I was screaming. That was not what I wanted to hear at all, especially right now that I don't have a job and he's frustrated with his. It is scary and it makes me a bit sad that with two kids and so much responsibility he doesn't know what he wants in life. This is precisely why I wish I hadn't had to quit my job. At least with me working I would feel somewhat in control, but right now I feel absolutely helpless.
I'm not saying I know for sure he's going to quit, but I just wish I could get rid of this nagging feeling. I have struggle before and I'm not afraid of struggling again, but it wouldn't be fun to do it with two kids.

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