A little bit of me

I thought this might be a good time to give a little of my background to you my readers. I'm originally from Mexico, but came to this great Country when I was 4. I have been married for nearly 10 years and have two kids, a boy and a girl. My son is in 1st grade and my little girl is only a year old. They keep me busy and although some times they drive me crazy, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm passionate about a lot of things like photography, scrapbooking, reading, and making crafts. Even though I don't get the opportunity to do these a lot when I do I love it and I will share these here as well. As I told you before I'm a stay at home mom and the reason why I started writing this blog was to express my feelings. With the hubbs being at work the majority of the time I rarely have anybody to speak to, at least anybody who can make conversation with me.
With that being said, the weekend is here and I'm excited. The Hubbs may have Saturday off, which means we might actually get to do something as a family. We don't get too many two day weekends, so when we do we try to take advantage and do something. A few years back his demanding work schedule would have created a lot of problems between us, but it is amazing how some things turn into priority. Have a great weekend everybody be safe!

To Work or Not to Work

I'm at a crossroads in my life right now. I have a big decision looming over me, whether to go back to work or be a stay at home mom. To a lot of people this might be a no brainer, but to me it is not.
I have worked since the age of 15 and taken care of at least my basic needs. With the birth of both of my children I have quit work to take care of them. Although, I do not regret these decisions, it is hard to fully depend on someone for financial support. The hubbs has made it known that he is not very happy at work right now and he's extremely stressed out. His situation at work is creating stress for me at home because I feel uncertain of his future there and of course of our finances. This has sent me into "get a job mode" and the hubbs doesn't understand my apprehension. Every time I bring up the conversation he says he doesn't think its a good idea and we end up getting nowhere. He is reacting like I'm doubting his ability to take care of our family, but I just want us to have a safety net in case something does happen. For now we haven't been able to compromise, but I still feel the need for me to be prepared. 

I love my children with my entire being, but some times being a stay at home mom makes me feel like a fish out of water.

The Aftermath of Birth

I never gave postpartum depression much thought. After I had my son almost 7 years ago, I never felt sad or any of the symptoms related to it. I quit work to become a stay at home mom and it was one of the happiest times of my life.
The second time around has not been as smooth as the first time though. This transition to becoming a full time mom has not been easy at all. It's been almost a year now since I quit my job and I'm barely getting into the groove of things. Since having my daughter I wouldn't say that I have felt sad or depressed, just unmotivated. Unmotivated to continue my weight loss I had began before I got pregnant, to finish different projects I began, or to go back to school. It's been hard for me to get myself in a schedule, much less my daughter and it's extremely hard to do it when you have absolutely no motivation. Unfortunately, it's hard for me to talk to anyone around me about it, they may not understand it, especially since in my culture that is a taboo subject. Among Hispanics postpartum depression is non-existent and if you feel any related symptom you better hurry up and get over it, sad to say, but that is how it is.
It has taken me a while to realize and accept that I may be going through some sort of depression, but now that I have, I feel like I can move forward. This is part of the reason why I created this blog, so that I can have a way to vent my thoughts and feelings.

The misconception

I love my children, I truly do. They are the biggest blessings in my life, my oldest is 6 and my youngest is 1. I'm blessed to be a stay at home mom, but sometimes I find myself wishing I could go back to work. I have worked since I was 15, therefore it is quite hard for me to have to depend on the hubbs for financial support. When I was working I would often dream about being a stay at home mom for my son, now that I have the chance it is not as glamorous as I thought it would be. It is definitely more work than a 9-5 job and I don't get breaks, it is a 24 hour job. At the end of the day I'm exhausted and I realize I still didn't get everything done. A lot of people tell me I'm lucky to be able to stay home and have the hubbs support me and I'm truly blessed I am, but it is not as glamorous as everyone thinks it is.